Episode 009

Self-Love Is Never Selfish with Chardeja Relaford (009)


January 2nd, 2020

51 mins 34 secs

Your Host
Special Guest

About this Episode

You may be in a situation that's very sad, traumatic and stressful right now. But you will get through it. And once you did, it will make you even better and stronger than before. Never let your current situation dictate what the future has for you. Keep on improving yourself and show the world that you deserve that "ONE GREAT LIFE".

Show Highlights

04:35 - Ari: I want to just touch back into your life a little bit. You did mention to me before the show that you've had life experiences where you've suffered from depression and you also mentioned the environment that you grew up with. Can you tell us a little bit about those?

4:58 - Chardeja: I grew up in a poor neighborhood moving from house to house transferring for a whole bunch of schools, trying to make new friends...

5:18 -Chardeja: I just had to tell myself what you want to be that person that everybody can go to do when they're feeling down.

6:00 -Ari: What I love is that you literally just told us that you make a conscious decision on a daily basis on a minute-by-minute basis to be happy and that you've developed this ability to make that choice always based on your own personal self work. How did that journey work? How did you get from from depression? Like what was your moment of epiphany? What was the moment where you said this has got to change I got to do something about this?

6:39- Chardeja: I didn't want to be on the type of business prescription just a not benefit me at all. I have siblings too and if I want to be a role model for my siblings I have to change myself for the better not just for myself

7:58- Ari: The bad is not gonna last in the good's gonna come back. And so I should just be focused on being happy.

8:25- Ari: So you have recognized at a very young age that you are a role model to younger siblings that you're a role model to the kids around your to your peer group even and and then you've gone a step further and you take an action based on that realization. Can you bring us into this journey that you took?

9:36- Chardeja: I turn that negative into positive

10:14- Chardeja: It all starts with you..

10:33- Ari: The loudest voice in the room that's the one you're gonna listen to.

11:55- Ari: You practice gratitude in the morning when you wake up..

13:15- Chardeja: I can't give advice to people if I'm feeling down...

15:38- Ari: You mentioned before that you've had some traumatic childhood experiences. Would you be comfortable sharing any of those or no?

16:08- Chardeja: He is a drug-addict sadly and no matter how many times we try to help him....

17:33- Chardeja: I cant't help somebody that doesn't want help.

18:39- Ari: The problem is when somebody is so hooked into that situation, when somebody is so involved in that world, it becomes so normal for them, So mind-altering. It's so changes attitude.

19:59- Chardeja: My dad, he did give good advice good motivational speeches, even my old dad, he looks up to me that really touched my heart.

20:39- Chardeja: It is sad to see the whole different person. That's a whole different person when drugs take over. It's a whole different person not the same person. But I did, take the time to forgive them.

21: 01- Ari: You also mentioned bullying. Do you mind if we touch upon that?

21: 08- Chardeja: I've been bullied majority of my school experience. Middle School, Elementary Schoo, High School.

21:33- Ari: How did that affect you and how did it make you feel? What did you do after?

21:50- Chardeja: Well, I'm going to touch upon where I've been bullied majority of my middle school high school.Every time the teachers they will help a little bit, but they can't control.

22: 40- Chardeja: But I still managed to make friends.

23:55- Ari: Basically bullies don't need a reason, They'll find a reason so it's not like it's not like well if I just get the right shoes, they'll start accepting me.

24:00- Chardeja: It's gotten to the point where I used to go home and just cry and talk to my mom about it. It just got really bad. That's was another factor to my depression by just getting bullied.

25:25- Chardeja: You have to go through struggles to become a stronger person

26:32- Ari: Everytime we go through struggles, we grow and we grow and we grow and we become bigger and better people because of them.

31:45- Ari: You mentioned also to me before the show that you it sounds like you almost have like an idea of creating a peaceful environment that will be beneficial to both humans and Wildlife. Can you talk a little more about that idea that you mentioned in about this one? I don't know if they're the same or different but can you expand on those for us?

32:11- Chardeja: Yes, I really enjoy nature and Wildlife. I see so many animals get endangered or like killed all and it is ruining our environment not just Wildlife but plastic or litter trash just in general like it's ruining our environment.

32:50- Chardeja: We all want to live a healthier life, hopefully everybody wants that. Yeah.

33:34- Ari: That's all we got and everybody if you want to be healthy now's the Time to do something about it. That's resonating with everything that they're saying.

34: 08- Ari: There's a tons and tons and tons of situations just like this where you have humans who are doing things that are intervening and the world and potentially creating a catastrophic system and unfortunately, they're doing it in a way that we are the guinea pigs.

35:59- Ari: Did you have other thoughts about that?

36:01- Chardejah: Oh, yeah, I'm glad to see people that's around my age or people you were younger than me are starting to realize that we need to save the Earth, the wildlife.

37:25- Ari: I think there is a way to find a good balance and that's really the answer to many of life's problems as finding a good balance between all the way this way and all the way that way.

38:04- Ari: How can we as adults and young adults inspire creativity in youth and once you're talking about it, why is that important?

38:19- Chardeja: As a young adult and other adults young children or like young youth in general looked up to us because like we're older, we are the elders. If we start doing something that is good or that benefit us in general. Then we can pass on that knowledge to the next person or the next young you says about the uprise...

39:16- Ari: How can creativity help that?

39:18- Chardeja: I'm trying to spread a message on this board, but also being creative being creative will draw more attention towards people and towards youth.

40:47- Ari: Do you have any ideas of how we can express the importance of Education to uninspired youth?

40:33- Chardeja: Yes, a lot of people or a lot of use don't care about education. They want it so fast to get rich and famous like the fastest way the easiest way or just get rich in general like the easiest fastest way. They don't want to put work into it.

40:50- Ari: It's not just the youth there are plenty of people out there want that also.

41:00- Chardeja: It all starts with education like education is the number 1 one key to getting wherever you're at.

42:43- Ari: Many many many many jobs on the market the vast majority Jobs, what happened was like this. 25 years ago, most people had a high school diploma and some people a small percentage had a college diploma. So you needed a high school diploma to get a job and to get a better job, you needed a college diploma then...

44:16- Ari: I want to Circle back to a big part of your mindset, It is amazing and our mindset really dictates our reality. And I want to know what do you think are some ways that we can encourage people to have a more positive mindset.

44:33- Chardeja: Is starts with you. Do you want to continue to aim for Success? Do you want to love yourself? Are you happy where you have right now?

47:30 Ari: What one actionble item would you tell them to do today to help them lead on that pathway?

47:35 Chardeja: Just learn to love yourself first.

Originally recorded 4/8/2019